1. Keep It Away From Bright Light 2. Don't Get Water On It 3. Never Feed It After Midnight

This is a picture of our cat Boston when he was a wee kitten. Even then it was clear he would grow to gargantuan proportions. I found it on the computer and put it on here because it is hilarious. He looks like Garfield now, but, back then, he looked like a nice Gremlin.

If You Can Dodge a Wrench, You Can Dodge a Shoe

Apparently, in Arab culture, "throwing a shoe or striking someone with one is the ultimate form of contempt," according to this CNN story. In that case, this Iraqi journalist showed how he and I'm sure more than a few of his country men and women feel towards our lame duck pres and the U.S.'s treatment of Iraq.

Bush looked like a true dodgeball hero or the latest human saved from the Matrix as he avoided the casual shoe fastballs. I know they were shoes and the journalists covering the press conference were probably searched for "real" weapons before they entered the press room, but security looked pretty lax as this guy was able to chuck not one but a pair of footwear on stage. Luckily for the pres, Oddjob wasn't out there camouflaged with glasses, a notepad, and a cynical smirk or he would have suffered a flying hat to the jugular.

Finally, It's Here

Tomorrow folks. Tomorrow. Tomorrow my favorite film of '08 will be in my firm grasp. It's a longshot for Best Picture, but the fact that critics are even considering this blockbuster for a nomination says volumes.

If you haven't seen it yet, I feel sorry for you. The only way you missed this picture is if you were just rescued from avalanche asphyxiation by a St. Bernard carrying rum around his neck. When the hangover wears off read my review of the film, but, honestly, unless you are just bored at work and porn isn't an option because of those pesky filters, just go out and rent the movie tomorrow. You will not be disappointed.

Figured I'd Share Some of the Art I've been Working On

As a kid I drew all of the time drawing inspiration from the Looney Toons and Marvel and DC comics. Then, for some reason, as I got older I stopped drawing less and less until I stopped. However, recently I picked up the ole pencil again when I discovered rock posters. My folks got me this book called Art of Modern Rock two years ago for Christmas, which I highly recommenend as the artists are truly awe inspiring, and I started going from there attempting to duplicate pieces from some of the posters I liked the best. I still have a long way to go but I figured I'd share of the pieces I've been working on anyway.

I would love any feedback and constructive critism that you have. It goes in the order of my most recent work to the first piece, which was done about a year and a half ago.

Recreated from a silkscreened rock poster for the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion by Methane Studios out of Atlanta for the Echo Lounge. I used pencil and blue, red, and green Sharpie markers.

Redrawn from a silkscreen poster for Scissorfight by Aesthetic Appartus out of Minneapolis, MN for the Triple Rock Social Club. I used pencil and a blue Sharpie marker.

This is based on a frame from Frank Miller's Batman: The Dark Knight Returns when the caped crusader kills The Joker. It was done with charcoal pencil.

This is based on an image of Death that I found online. I think drawing hands will forever baffle me. It was done with charcoal pencil.

I cannot quite remember what the inspiration for this was. I think it is based on an AC/DC album cover. It was done with pencil and charcoal pencil.

This is based on Art Sasse's iconic photo of Einstein during his birthday at Princeton. Saying it has some proportional issues would be generous, but it's recognizable at least. It was done with pencil and Sharpie markers.

Random Fodder: Barry McSteroid Backlash

Do Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens hang out on weekends now?

I noticed last night that Major League Baseball 2K8 for PS2 (no, I'm not cool. I don't have one of those new fangled video play machines yet) does not include the single season and all-time home run records in their list of all-time Major League Baseball records.

This game is extremely buggy at times and inaccurate (they claim Ken Griffey Jr. has the all-time stolen base record to name one example), but leaving out The Sultan of Steroids (Shrinking Testicles) cannot be a mere oversight. It's nice to see that the folks who made this game actually took a side in the Barry Bonds steroid/home run record controversy by choosing not to publish the category and record* at all. Is this "oversight" the same on the next gen versions?

It's too bad they didn't go a step further by including the home run categories and attributing the records to their true holders: Roger Maris and Hank Aaron.

If the Glove Doesn't Fit, You Must Acquit: Legal Logic From the Lazy Boy Lawyer

Yesterday, the family of Jdimytai Damour, the man trampled to death at a Long Island Wal-Mart filed a wrongful-death lawsuit against the retail chain claiming store ads offering deep discounts "created an atmosphere of competition and anxiety" that led to "crowd craze," according to this story.

This legal argument sounds like something from the guy in the commercials between The People's Court and The Bold and the Beautiful, but it will still hold up. When something devastating happens society must find somebody to blame and because none of the mob will ever be held responsible, Wal-Mart, it looks like your it. I don't blame Damour's family for going after Wal-Mart for compensation because they deserve something for what happened. But c'mon, really, deals leading to crowd craze. I guess I need to watch out for all the 80 year old ladies with their fists full of coupons from the Sunday circular the next time I go to the grocery store. Nobody wants a 2 for 1 can of tuna to the side of the head.

Seriously though, who do we blame here? Which side is the correct one to take? Is picking one side really that easy or is there plenty of blame to go around? On the one hand, you have a greedy retailer providing door buster (literally in this case) prices, so they should expect a huge turnout and be ready for it, especially considering there are massive Black Friday crowds every year. On the other hand, the shoppers acted like unstoppable brain-hungry zombies, who actually tore the doors down on their way to trampling Damour.

Another point: Were any other people killed at the thousands of other Wal-Mart's in the country, which most likely provided the same level or lack of security, depending on your viewpoint. No. So, the question becomes: Was Wal-Mart lucky in the sense that only one person was killed because of their lackluster efforts, or was this an isolated incidental caused by the maniacal mob?

Also: Wal-Mart was not the only giant retailer offering incredible Black Friday deals. Was security much better at Target, Kohl's, K-Mart, and the other retail chains, or, again, was the tragedy at the Long Island Wal-Mart an isolated incident? Similarly, Black Friday has been going on for years so how come people haven't been dying at these sales events for years? Was security better in past years, or, again, was this an isolated incident?

While most of us have a negative view of Wal-Mart except when we're getting a 3 for 1 deal on Hot Pockets, is it fair that they will end up forking over millions because of the deplorable actions of a group of people, while those folks receive no consequences for their actions at all?

Here is my Swiftian suggestion: If retailers continue to have Black Friday in years to come, all shoppers should be tazered and wheelbarrowed into the stores so nobody's safety will be compromised. Sure, it will sting for a little while but after a few seconds they will return to normal and have no problem reaching for their wallets.

The Mob Needs Coal and Compassion Shoved Into Their Stockings

I still cannot get past what happened last week when a Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by a mob driven mad by Black Friday deals. I wish it was easy enough to blame Jdimytai Damour's death on a stint of insanity, but unfortunately it is just another example of people not giving a shit.

While we rage at the Mumbai massacre and terrorists and the hell they are putting this world through, a guy gets killed so people can be first in line at the $2 DVD bin. The senseless of it all.

In the preceding clip, and this story from the New York Times (more detailed than msn's piece I linked to before) a witness, Kimberly Cribbs of Queens, said many of the shoppers acted like "savages" and were upset because they had to leave the store after the man's death.

“When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling, ‘I’ve been on line since yesterday morning,’ ” Ms. Cribbs told The Associated Press. “They kept shopping."

Wow, and I thought Christmas was supposed to be about compassion and love. I guess I'm just a naive idealist.

The only good to come out of this is that the pregnant woman didn't lose her baby and ended up being okay.

In the aftermath I have several thoughts on the matter:

1. When I originally heard this story I assumed it was an elderly greeter who was killed. No, apparently Damour was something like 6'5" 270 lbs. For me, that makes the story even more unbelievable.

2. Defending Wal-Mart makes me feel so dirty, and by no means do I applaud their treatment of employees, but it is too easy for our blame everybody else society to pin everything on the retail giant's lack of security and not on the mob's zombie-like hunger for deals. Granted, Black Friday is known for stampeding crowds and Wal-Mart could have provided more barricades, fences, and security, but Damour would still be alive if these shoppers had acted like human beings and not rabid wolves. I've got it! In the future tazer them all and wheelbarrow them in.

3. Similarly, the only punishment in this whole thing will be to Wal-Mart's purse as it will be forced to relinquish millions in a civil suit. Not one person from that mob will serve a second in jail or provide a minute of community service, even if their faces are visible on tape. The defense is too easy. "I was pushed." "I had no choice but to follow the wave." Sadly, Damour's family and friends will only receive corporate PR apologies and never anything sincere from the persons who actually did the deed. Yes, I just puked in a bucket too.

4. What will shopping the rest of the Christmas season be like? Do I need to don riot gear and a Kevlar vest as I peruse through close-out, bottom-line weekend discounts? Maybe I should do all of my shopping online this year to avoid any injury.