Atlanta Trip (The Prosecution Rests - Me Thinks I Have ADD)

Last weekend Chrissty and I did our best Snake Plissken impression, sans eyepatches, and escaped from Valdosta to the big city of Atlanta. Before I get into the details, here is one note of interest:

Gas in Atlanta was $4.02 vs. $3.99 in Valdosta when we got back Sunday night. Correct me if I'm wrong, but something seems odd about this, especially considering people actually get paid real money there and aren't expected to volunteer their time like they are here. Clearly, gas prices do not reflect standard of living/something sinister is going on.

FRIDAY

The drive up went smoothly, and we ran into an old friend and Spectator refugee, Dave, at a random gas station on the Macon bypass. As the ride annoyingly sings, it really is a small world after all. Then, an hour or so later, I did my best Da Gama impression trying to navigate the Atlanta streets with a cell phone in one hand getting directions from Travis to the Midtown Tavern, a wheel in the other, and nothing but confusion in my head.

I went down a hill and, unknowingly, the bar and a screaming Travis were right next to us. We couldn't see them because of the steepness of the hill. Well, a homeless guy was trying to get our attention because Travis was yelling at us, but I thought he was yelling because we were blocking traffic or something, so we pulled into a Post Office across the street. In my haste and excitement, somehow, I managed to lock the keys in the car....while they were in the ignition.......while the car was still running. Not my best moment and the final straw in Chrissty and my battle over whether I should be taking ADD meds too. The worst part was we didn't realize what I had done until almost two hours later when we left the bar. Here's how the conversation went:

"Chrissty get our keys out of your purse (I didn't have pockets in my driving shorts/comfortable gym shorts)

"I don't have them (followed by 10 minutes of searching)

I check in the bathroom thinking I left them on the shelf, ask the bartender, get a shrug and a sorry, then take the anxious "OH SHIT!" strides back to the car shaking my head hoping there's no way they could be in there.

SURPRISE!!! There they were. This is only the third time since I started driving at age 17 that I have locked the keys in the car, the first time with the Mazda, and the first time I've actually left the car running. Good news; I have AAA, and they said they would put me on the priority list meaning my wait would only be TWO HOURS.

Luckily, there was a locksmith in our midst in the homeless guy who was yelling at us earlier. His name is Charlie and he was a really nice guy. He came out of the brush with a pair of needle nose pliers and a wire a little thicker than a coat hanger. He asked if he could give it a shot. I figured sure because A) The night would be ruined if we had to wait two hours and B) Chrissty would give me the flogging of my life if we didn't get out of this jam. So, Charlie went to work.

Honestly, it was pretty impressive. Granted, I know his help was coming at the expense of a lifetime of stolen cars, but I was amazed that he was able to open our door a crack with the pliers and get a wire onto the lock in only about five minutes. It ended up being a $20 lesson in how easily somebody can steal our car because AAA called back and said they would only be 15 minutes, so we told Charlie not to sweat it and gave him 20 bucks for his trouble. Unfortunately, I saw Sunday afternoon that he had scratched the car to hell in the process, but, at the time we were desperate and we were able to help out a seemingly nice guy down on his luck. So, we're not too upset, especially considering you can only see the scratches when the driver door is open.

Long story short, the whole ordeal only cost us $20, a notch of gas, and a half hour. Not bad if you ask me. I'm charging $10 per cup for the lemonade we made from those lemons.

The night didn't really get much better from there. We headed to a techno club called the Apache Cafe. Techno is not our thing, but Travis's friends were going there, so we went and then were stood up because they got wasted and passed out. I've been there and understand, but I was still pretty pissed because we paid 10 bucks just to get into the joint. Eventually, we headed to the Estoria, which looked like the type of establishment where revolutions get started, a chill, deep discussions with your neighbor kind of place, but, after a long and frustrating night, Chrissty and I got into it, and it was homeward bound from there.

At least we were introduced to some great new music on the way into the city by my Christopher Columbus of quality tunes, Travis, when he played some of the Atlanta based, indie rock band, Morning State's album "You Know People I Know People" Stand out tracks include "Sad Is When I'm Driving" and "Out For a Walk."

SATURDAY

Travis took us to IKEA because we had never been there. While there was a lot of cool stuff that made the consumer section of my brain salivate, I kept thinking of Edward Norton before his change in Fight Club sitting on the toilet ordering stuff out of the catalog. No, I never saw the Ying Yang coffee table but I was looking for it.

From there we went to the Mexican/Cuban restaurant, La Fonda Latina, located in Atlanta at 923 Ponce De Leon Ave NE, where we loaded up on their excellent food. The waiter forgot about us (we were nestled in a corner but still...) so we loaded up on three bowls worth of chips and queso. After about a half hour of waiting for the waiter to come back after getting Chrissty's salad order, and another 15 minutes or so for the food to arrive, I was treated to my first ever Cuban sandwich; I cannot see any of its brethren ever topping it as it was perfection in my mouth. While the service of our primary waiter stunk (the guys handling the chips and water were excellent) I recommend La Fonda to everyone. Check out the upstairs covered patio area for a nice view in the shade while you eat.

With full stomachs, we went to Little Five Points and checked out the wares. I was disappointed to see an American Apparel there as Little Five is an eclectic, unique kind of place where corporate entities should be off limits. Admittedly, I've never been to one of their stores, but some places just belong in the mall. I was impressed by the two record shops we went in. I cannot remember the name of the first but the second was called Criminal Records, which was featured in Paste's top record shops in the country article last month. One thing I loved about Little Five was all of the music posters floating around. It's amazing what some people can do with a copy machine. Regrettably, I was too full to eat at the Vortex.

Later, we met up with Travis and Emily after skipping out on a wine and cheese testing that Travis was semi-obligated to attend. If they were my friends I would have gone too, but sorry, wine and cheese, unless it's in cube form, are right up there with techno for me. After enjoying a few swigs of Miller Light and Newcastle at Travis's apartment, we ended up at Smith's Old Bar.

This place is great. If Valdosta really wants people to flock downtown they need a locale like this. The place has a little something for everybody not looking to "Walk it Out" - top notch music upstairs with cover, a dark, laid back, central area to sit back and enjoy their $4 Giant Red Stripe special with friends, and a good number of pool tables. If you don't have any dancers/clubbers in your gang, this would be the place to go as it is the ultimate foil to Glo Ultra Lounge.

By the way, if you've never had Red Stripe, I highly recommend a swig. It has a sweet after taste that I have never experienced in any brew before. Also, I love how most of the bars we went to up there had Pabst in a tall can or at least on tap, although everyone knows PBR is the one beer that is best experienced in can form.

The ladies wanted a change of pace so we found ourselves at Moondogs in Buckhead. This was a Valdosta style bar, a lot like 1 a.m. Mellow Mushroom, as chill and laid back were replaced with a crazed college crowd. There was plenty of Souja Boy style dancing and drinking to go around. Earlier in the night I would have been annoyed, but with that right mix full of Red Stripe and PBR, it was a merry ole time. I had another former Spectator sighting in Meg but the loud tunes did not allow for any form of conversation. However, I will give them this: they had Sam Adams Summer Ale on tap and Pabst in a tall can; very nice.

SUNDAY

A perfect day for Six Flags after the late night we had. What was I thinking? Clearly, I wasn't, but I'm a big proponent of living in the moment. We were already running late as we were supposed to meet up with A-Mac, Billy, and Sarah at 10 a.m., and then we hit Atlanta traffic (6 lanes were reduced to 2), so they went into the park without us. After arriving, we had to wait in line for more than an hour (I know now I couldn't survive in a desert for more than half an hour because the sink faucet in the men's room is the only reason I am still alive), so we didn't get in until around 11:30.

NOTE TO SIX FLAGS OVER GEORGIA: Your line area is abysmal. The only thing you're missing is tearing off your customers' clothes, smothering their sweating, stinking bodies in BBQ sauce, and then staking them over live fire ant beds. I cannot believe you haven't had problems with patrons passing out or getting heat stroke while waiting the hour in the hot sun to get into the park. You don't provide any water fountains, and, even more surprising, you don't have any stands selling overpriced bottled water. Also, unlike Universal Studios, you don't have any misters for the folks in line. I hate that last comment because it makes me sound like a spoiled human, trust me I want to slap myself. But they really do help cool people down, which makes for much nicer folks when it comes time to snatch their money.

It was my first time visiting any Six Flags, and, the whole time we were waiting in line, I was thinking, "Why the hell did I come up with this idea," but that annoying voice that continually repeated "More rides, more fun." was actually right. We only rode four rides in about six hours, but it was still a blast. It was pretty much a day of catching up with friends while we sweated in endless lines (I hadn't seen Sarah since she moved to Athens a little while back so that was nice) and eventually reaching the promised land in a ride. Apparently, Adam and Billy are scared of heights but somehow Adam got up the gusto to ride the Goliath, which is imposing for any roller coaster veteran. We all got soaked on the water ride, especially me because I was stuck under the waterfall for what seemed like an hour, but it was welcome in the hot sun. All and all a good time. My only regret is that I missed out on the Superman ride.

Overall, it was a fantastic trip. Really, any excuse to escape Valdosta is good to me. It's too bad David couldn't make the trip up from Macon. I always forget something when I leave for home, and this trip was no exception. I left my Jimi Hendrix t-shirt and our new cooler. Luckily, Travis is coming down next month so I will see him and them again.

All is not lost as I got a lot of new tunes from Travis including Morning State, listed above, Buddy Holly, The Shins, Modern Skirts, and National's "The Boxer." I've been wanting to hear that album for a while now and it did not disappoint. It's amazing and belongs on all of the top 10 in 07 music lists it ended up on. We also enjoyed the Whigs first album, "Give 'Em A Big Fat Lip," during the final hour home. If you haven't heard these guys yet you're missing out on the next big thing. Both of their albums are amazing.

Photos taken from: http://www.size-acceptance.org/, http://www.morningstate.com/, http://www.sixflags.com/, and http://www.marqueemag.com/