Movie Review: The Road 7.5/10

Finally watching the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s 2006 novel “The Road” was a long journey for me, although not a post-apocalyptic one.

The film was released December and, like the adaptation of McCarthy’s “No Country For Old Men,” did not make the cut to be featured at Valdosta Stadium Cinemas. Alright then, no problem. Chrissty and I were making the 1,500 mile trek to New Hampshire to visit my folks for Christmas, so it had to be featured there at one of the many surrounding theaters, right?

Yes, its playing. My mom quipped grinning. Knowing the punch line was right around the corner
I played the straight man.

Where at?

I found it playing in Minnesota.

Skunked again. I thought. This movie has turned into Ralphie’s official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time. Okay, well I’ll give Valdosta another chance. Many films haven’t been released there immediately only to be shown a month or two later after their initial wide scale release.

Not happening.

Okay, I give up. I’ll see it on DVD. Five months later it was released on May 25. Sorry, Netflix I could not wait the customary two months to receive this new release.

So, to the nearest redbox, Chrissty and I went. Sold-out. Damn. Back to the apartment. This time to reserve a copy. Reserved we headed another two and a half miles north to the next nearest Kroger. One bonus of our new Atlanta living, more than one redbox.

There was a mass of redbox devotees huddled around the machine. OUT-OF-ORDER. The sign laughed at me. Hand held chaos as users scrambled to their cell phones to report the inconvenience. Me one of them. The one drawback to this new school version of renting films, no human hand to pass over a DVD. Was this machine self aware? Was it trying to spite us?

This was now a mission. A call to redbox, a cheery customer rep named Chris and a new destination another three miles away to the next nearest redbox. Chrissty and I were off.

15 minutes later we had our movie in hand, after waiting for two girls to take 10 minutes to ultimately decide on Marley and Me, not the best Saturday night fare unless they had a surplus of Kleenex (saying the guy who is renting “The Road”), and another chap who had preconceived plans for Sherlock Holmes.
So was the film worth the months of waiting and the scavenger hunt across Atlanta? Sure, with the stipulation that we had nothing better to do and had been wanting to explore the city randomly anyway for the past weeks.

In a year that broughr this and another post-apocalyptic film, the multimillion dollar waste 2012 (For the record we didn’t even make it through the whole thing, debating a quarter of the way to just send it back before finally relenting half way through), “The Road” was a terrifically depressing film, an anti-2012, in that it was actually worth watching, and contained the realism and heartache that an end of world scenario would actually create.

Viggo Mortensen is typical Viggo playing The Father perfectly opposite a tearfully realistic turn as The Son by Kodi Smit-McPhee as the two head south in hope of warmer weather and a new civilization.

While the film was worth our journey, I understand now why in a year that also brought us 10 nominees for the Academy’s Best Picture Award, it was not one of them. The film’s gloomy imagery matches the grayness McCarthy conveyed in a world where humanity is sharing a can of pears with a stranger amidst cannibals hunting for human flesh.

Mortensen, McPhee and even director John Hillcoat do the best they can translating McCarthy’s material to the screen, showing viewers the modern-day heartache of living just to survive. Its just that something is missing. The film seems to do everything right, but for some reason, it feels like a shell in comparison to the weight of the novel.

Maybe this is just an ode to the greatness of McCarthy. The product of attempting to translate a novel to the screen with the scope and masterful writing of “The Road." Sure the Coen’s managed to do it with “No Country for Old Men," but the success of that film is based on its action-packed sequences and plot twists, along with its unrelenting look at good versus evil, something “The Road” was never about.

Where "No Country for Old Men" was meaning disguised as an action packed thriller, "The Road” is anti-Hollywood at its best, relying almost completely on human emotion and the bond between father and son -- something not easily presented on the screen.

In the end, that is where the novel "The Road" succeeds so well and why the film seems to fall a bit flat. It’s definitely worth watching, but fans of the book will feel that something is missing. “The Road” is just another example of the impossibility that it usually is for a film to live up to the book that it is based on.

Much Better Live But Still Not Too Sure About This Album

Evil Dead Claymation

Evil Dead done in 60 seconds with CLAY - 2010 from Lee Hardcastle on Vimeo.

Billionaire Industrialist Buys Backstreet Boys' Plane, Fans Crushed

Pavarotti Killington
The Citizen

RENO - To the chagrin of Backstreet Boys' fans, Bruno Komp, billionaire industrialist and aviation collector, is now the owner of the jet that appeared in the group's music video, "I Want it That Way."

The Boeing 727 was bought by Komp for a staggering $5 million Friday night, outbidding the $3.5 million collective effort of BSB United, the Backstreet Boys' largest fan club.

"We can't believe it." Darcy Templeton, founder of BSB United, said while holding back tears. "It was supposed to be the prized piece in United's memorabilia collection. Fans worldwide donated to this cause. Some even sold their dripping wet Nick (Carter) posters. That's a huge commitment. We already cleared out a spot smack in the middle of the museum. It was supposed to go next to the framed piece of t-shirt I tore off of A.J. (McLean) during the guys' 1999 TRL appearance and the lock of Howie's (Dorough) hair I cut off backstage in Stockholm during the Black and Blue Tour."

Templeton began to sob uncontrollably. "We only hope that A.J., Howie, Brian (Littrell), Nick and Kevin (Richardson) aren't disappointed with us. We love you guys so much."

Komp said he felt bad for the fan club members but, at the same time, was overjoyed to add the jet to his already vast collection.

"This is a day collectors like me live for," Komp said while clutching the jet's keys to his heart. "This is what it's all about, adding a jet of such history, such magnitude, to their collection. And it's mine, all mine. Look, show me the meaning of being lonely, I'm sure it doesn't include having over 65 pieces of aviation history in your collection. I'm a big dick player. I want it that way. I'm larger than life, baby."

Backstreet Boys' member Brian Littrell commented on the disappointment felt by BSB United and shocked members by saying the Backstreet Boys would donate one of the jet's used during the Black and Blue Tour to the fan club's memorabilia collection.

"What can we say," Littrell said. "We love our fans so much and we hate to see them so unhappy. This plane is a reflection of how much our fans mean to us. And on another note, we love every backdrop that we've ever slow motion walked and sang in front in front of. That plane isn't just a plane. We're happy for Bruno but it's still a part of us and it saddens us that it is no longer a part of us. But that's okay. We're just ecstatic that the Black and Blue 727 is in a place where it can truly be celebrated."

Responding to Littrell's statement, Templeton said, "Screw the plane. Brian said they love us. They really love us. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my God," before she collapsed and was rushed to the emergency room.

Dawkins Medical Center officials said Templeton's condition was stable and that she merely suffered from panic attack like symptoms.

The money donated to purchasing the jet by BSB United members is being returned to members, Nikki Stewart, chief financial officer of BSB United, said.

"We're hearing rumors that a mattress Kevin soiled after drinking a little too much one night is going to be available soon," Stewart said. "We hope members will show just as much generosity if not more considering what happened. We don't want to lose out to some kind of soiled mattress collector next time out."

BSB United has more than 25 million members worldwide.

"I Want it That Way" was the first single off of the Backstreet Boys' 1999 platinum album "Millennium." It reached the number one spot on the Billboard Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks where it stayed for 14 weeks. It set a record for most weeks at number one on the Top 40 Mainstream chart. The song also received three Grammy nominations, including one for "Record of the Year."

The members of the Backstreet Boys are Howie Dorough, A.J. McLean, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter and Kevin Richardson.

Album Review: The Whigs "In the Dark" Grade: C+

Fans of “Rocky” saw what happened when “The Italian Stallion” moved from the streets into a posh mansion -- he got pampered, lost the “eye of the tiger” and was pummeled by Clubber Lane.

The Whigs’ third release, “In the Dark,” won’t get the Athens’ rockers destroyed in the ring but fans have to wonder if the band was influenced too much by the glitz of tour mates Kings of Leon and “cock of the walk” producer Ben Allen.

Like Rocky in his third film, it sounds like The Whigs have forgotten who they are in this third installment. Sure there are glimmers of the trio’s Replacements’ style college alt rock sound, but a lot of “In the Dark” is missing the unabashed ferocity that has made the trio such a success in the past. The album is a drunk’s line walk between the band’s garage rock roots and an overly studioized, Kings of Leon arena style sound. It works like jukebox provided back ground music to noisy bar conversation. Sure, it’s entertaining and fills in the gaps of awkward silence, but where’s the pulse?

Standout tracks include “Hundred/Million,” “Kill Me Carolyne” and “In the Dark,” but even they sound buried alive compared to fist pumpers “Like a Vibration” and “Right Hand on My Heart” off the band’s second effort “Mission Control” and the infectious sing-a-longs “Technology” and “Violet Furs” off the trio’s’ debut “Give ‘Em All A Big Fat Lip.”

The Whigs have not resurrected Shakespeare with any of their lyrics, but the album’s study hall quiet make the clichéd intros in “Someone’s Daughter” and “So Lonely” stand out. I know lead singer/guitarist Parker Gispert said in a November interview with Rolling Stone that he wanted to be more lyrically direct with “In the Dark,” but this can’t be what the band intended.

While “In the Dark” does not deserve the pummeling Pitchfork delivered, it also is not the progression that was expected. With their next album, The Whigs need to stay out of the arena and rediscover the garage. Ding…ding.

Fans look to 'Indepedence Day' for Leadership; Kline Camp Not Concerned

Pavarotti Killington
The Citizen

LOS ANGELES - As President Obama's approval rating continues to go down amidst stalled health care reform and a double digit unemployment rate, movie fans rallied in the hills this morning calling for a leader known for taking action - even if he is purely fictional.

Hundreds of fans of the 1996 blockbuster "Independence Day" gathered outside the home of actor Bill Pullman chanting "Today we celebrate our Independence Day" in hopes that the actor would storm Washington and oust the current regime immediately through a violent takeover or at least by 2012 through the democratic process.

"I've been out of the job for nine months now," Tom Browinsky, an unemployed welder and freqent movie goer said. President (Thomas) Whitmore is the right man for the job. In fact, he's been the right guy since '96 and I've been writing his name in the box ever since. For me the job of President is all about integrity and looking out for the regular folks like you and me. He could have laid down when those aliens were shooting that green junk everywhere but he didn't. He delivered the best speech in presidential history and even fired the first missile when their shields went down. People want a return to greatness and that's something out of George Washington's playbook, right there. He wasn't in a bunker hiding. He was there fighting for all of us."

Sandra O'Brien, an unemployed hairdresser, echoed Browinsky's view.

"Look, the guy lost his wife with his daughter at his side, and then saves the world all in a couple day's time. If he's not right for the job, then nobody is. President Whitmore has the experience and the gusto. He's even got military experience and even supported his wife Dottie during a time when many men wouldn't have, when she was catcher for the Peaches. I can't say it enough. He is the man America needs. A man of action and progression."

After twenty minutes of chanting, Pullman addressed the crowd from his front door in a bathrobe.

"I appreciate your support. I really do. But I'm not a politician. President Whitmore was a character I played 15 years ago. Please go home, please. I love that I have such great fans, but please. Remember, I'm Mr. Wrong. There's people out there, real politicians, who you need to get behind. They're Mr. Right."

However, the crowed remained while Pullman stayed indoors until a street brawl broke out between Pullman supporters and those of a Jeff Goldblum/Will Smith ticket.

"They came out of nowhere," Earl Goodwin, a Pullman supporter said, as his forehead gushed blood. "We were just gathering peacefully and they go and do this. What is the world coming too?"

Dedrich David Smith, the spokesman for the Los Angeles Chapter of Get (Jeff) Goldblum and (Will) Smith Into the White House, said "Look I hate that people got hurt. We're not about that. Sometimes people lose their heads. We're just here to show that Mr. David Levinson and Capt. Steven Hiller are the true heroes and not that charlatan Whitmore. Levinson cracked the code knocking out the force field and is the reason Whitmore even got out of the White House before it blew up, and Hiller is the pilot that Whitmore wishes he could be. All Whitmore did was push a button. The truth is, if the greatest American hero, Mr. Russell Casse was still with us, he'd be the first President elected unanimously in history, and that's a fact."

Goldblum and Smith could not be reached for comment by press time.

The campaign manager for Kevin Kline's presidential bid, Cecil Forte, issued a short statement to the press in response to the outpouring for Pullman.

"Look, nobody can deny that President Whitmore did amazing things. He's the only president who ever had to respond to an alien invasion, and even I can't say that he could have handled it any better than he did. But the fact is, we're not under attack by aliens, right now. We're under attack from unemployment, insurance companies, and a distrust in government. It won't take a scientist turned cable man and a future astronaut to solve these problems either. It'll take a man of Dave's stature. An everyman who got people jobs when there were no jobs to be had. A man who fought so he could see the triumphant look on the faces of those who had work. A man who cut government fat so the money could go to children who needed it. To me that's real action and it doesn't take being in a cockpit to do it. It just takes being there for the American people when they need you most."

After issuing the statement Forte refused to answer questions. Kline could not be reached for comment by press time.

Michael Douglas, Dennis Haysbert, Martin Sheen, John Travolta, Jack Nicholson and Chris Rock could also not be reached for comment by press time.

Book Review: "No Country for Old Men" by Cormac McCarthy 5/5

Cormac McCarthy’s last novel, 2006’s “The Road,” is a handkerchief soaked look at the love between a father and son trying to survive the carnage of a post apocalyptic world. It received much praise from the literary community, including a Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and many awws and tears from Oprah’s Book Club members.

“No Country for Old Men,” McCarthy’s preceding novel, is worthy of similar praise and, for those who read it after first consuming “The Road,” blasts any lingering scraps of sympathy away with a silenced shotgun. It is sheer ruthlessness packed into a modern cowboy noir page turner.

For those who are too busy hanging out at The Maxx to write a Belding approved book report, the Coen Brothers’ 2007 Academy Award winning masterpiece based on this novel pretty much has it covered from start to finish. Readers are introduced to three men whose storylines intertwine through numerous shootouts and bloodbaths until fate or their own actions (you decide) take them to at least two, maybe three surprising conclusions:

Llewelyn Moss, a trailer park genius forced to live on the wits his Vietnam War training gave him as he absconds with a briefcase containing two million drug war earned dollars; the monster on his trail, Anton Chigurh, a philosophical sadist hitman who doles out death as the hand of fate with slaughterhouse weaponry and viciousness; and the Eisenhowerian Ed Tom Bell, an “I’m too old for this shit!” sheriff content with drinking sweet tea as he rocks his way into the sunset of retirement, now faced with capturing the Devil spawned Chigurh, whose thirst for killing is as gargantuan as the Texas county he swore to protect.

As is usually the case, the novel is superior to the movie. While the Coens make terrific films, McCarthy’s a run producer in the starting lineup of American literary giants. His story telling is brilliant, and his ability to craft realistic regional dialogue is a big part of what makes this thriller flow so well. Also, movie goers who frowned at the Coens’ seemingly non-climactic ending will have a better sense of its meaning (or at least think they do) when they finish the novel, as it is made clearer through McCarthy’s use of Bell’s separate monologues commenting on society’s current state and the aimless battle between good and evil.

These themes are prevalent among others like fate and aging, and another part of what McCarthy does so well with “No Country for Old Men.” It is a tale filled with so much meaning disguised as a “can’t put it down” action thriller.

Definitely not a bedtime story for the kiddies unless the pop doing the reading is Ed Gein, ”No Country for Old Men” is a must for readers who want a thrilling tale told by one of today’s best authors.